Astrology

My dreams always had a special edge to it. Like one day I had seen the dream that someone gifted me a Yamaha MT01. Believe me with a 5 liter petrol filled free every day. Wow....

Other day I had seen my next door girl coming in my Dream. She got married to me. But I don't know strangely I am cooking the food. I thought it will be the other way always.

Today is the strangest my Dad came to me and was saying I am very proud of you. He is happy that I passed X standard in first class. He even called my younger brother who is in his final year of Engineering to celebrate ( Ooh finally after 5 years )

I got the news that tomorrow is the results day. Dream is good. But whats the realty. I cannot wait till tomorrow.

I decided I will go to a Astrologer. I can't go to a very famous one. He may catch my desperation ( Actually our 5 year graduate in X cannot afford ).

I decided that I will go to different kinds of predictions and decide whether the results will match. I wanted to try a palm readers, a koya dora , and a parrot predictor.

Its not long before I was searching for them one came across. The koya dora has come to our house. I wanted to act smart and see what he will tell before I actually question him. You know I don't want to sound desperate.

He has seen something in me. He started saying you are desperate. ( I looked into mirror. Am I ?). I behaved as if I am ignoring. He just said one line which is just ringing in my mind all the time. He said you have a mole on a place where sun can never reach. ( Its a little poetic )

I was thinking is it my heel. No no sometimes I put my leg up. No no its not there. It cannot be there (what about the nude beach. Sun can reach anywhere). I am still behaving uninterested.

He started to be more confident. You father is not very happy with you Shivaiah ( He got my name) . I am dumbfounded. He said what there is a big change coming in my life tomorrow and you will be on the right side of it.

My mom came out and seen the dora asked me to get some Rice to give it to him. I have given him the rice my mom ordered plus a 50 Rupee note.

I am on cloud nine. Yesterday night Dream and now Dora. But still I am curious to get to know some more. Before getting I went to change dress and was curious to find the mole and to my surprise I found it there. Got my zipper up and went out.

I came out and was on my way to my friend's house ( actually in search of a palm reader ). I got one around the corner of my house. But I got a doubt he may know about me as he is always around there.

I found one more near my friend's house. This time I had to go directly but tried to hide what I actually want. After all he is the predictor .

I told him that my father is not happy and he feels the reason is me ( Shit... I told truth to this guy. ). He started to read some lines on my hand.

You work a lot hard and derive lot of pressure from it. There are lot of rough lines on our hand. (Is it cricket man. I wear gloves for cricket. Then it should be bathroom that is where my hand keeps on working with lot of pleasure

But he has given me the answer I wanted. Your dad's problems will be solved tomorrow ( for me its my problems ). There are lot of people who will not feel its right. But problems of your dad will be solved.

I am happy he also said things will be solved tomorrow. But what he is talking about some people etc etc.. Lets forget about it. He got himself a 50 Rs note.

Now I am on cloud 18. ( Cloud 9 on top of cloud 9 ) . Funny right. Still a little concerned. After all I had 5 attempts before this

My last juncture is the parrot guy . I have seen one before. I wanted to recollect where and when.

I went to this Shiva Wines ( Why god's name for wine shop Poor god also require some credit to his name

No I am not there to booze. The parrot predictor was once near this wine shop. There there is he.

I wanted to watch the whole process before actually go to him. I am tempted to have a beer before actually going to him. I can act confident. I have seen one girl coming to him .

Guy opened the cage and asked the parrot to come out and pick a card in her name. He is talking to parrot and it is following his words. It came out picked some random card and went back into the cage. I was wondering why the parrot went back into the cage.

Back to prediction. The card is of Sri Rama. He started with good news first. Your husband will be loyal to you. He loves you like Rama loves Sita. That is why Rama and Sita are there.

What is Hanuman doing there. He has no Lanka to fire.

Then he told her like Sita you have to face lot of problems before actually getting the happy part of it. ( What ... ! )

Now it my turn. Same routine parrot came out and went back. All my concentration was on the bird. Why bird is going back to nest. Our boss opened the card and shouted wow its Sree Krishna and grabbed my attention back.

I am to marry 8 girls and have 60000 gopikas. Wow what a great predictor. He read what was in my mind I think.

You have come here to learn from me not to predict yourselves. Like krishna you also through your parents into lot of problems ( He got the truth. The palm reader and this guy are friends is it. But you will get them out of it. The time is ripe for it.

Now I could not control asked him when is the date. He called the parrot to come out and take out one more card. (Means I have to pay him double. ). I want the answer after all. The card this time is some stars and moon as if I am seeing an universe in a planetarium. What does that mean. May be he will tell time in light years or what. My father will not wait that long.

He said before this night becomes a day you will see a difference. Wow ... ! Three guys predicted the same. May be I will get the result in my favor.

The results came. You know what I failed again.

After Word
====================================

The predictiors were right after all. My father said enough is enough made me join as a mechanic in the Bajaj Company where he is the manager. My father knows the value of work after all. You know what now I own Yamaha show room in my place . I own a Yamaha MT01 too. Its name Astrology bikes. Its the life changer

Dreams....!

It was my first day in B.Tech . The first lecturer to say "Welcome to Engineering" is an English Lecturer. He introduced himself as Rangeela. Very funny .. Right...! Rangeela released only 4 years back. His name is not inspired by RGV's Rangeela for sure.

First day went by with roll call and introductions. Introductions were very boring.

I am Yenkamma. My father's name Pulla Rao. I was first in my street. ( I am most stupid to quote this)

I am Ramullamma ( Ooh ooh oose ramullamma ). My father's name Subba Rao. I always wanted to be a Engineer and construct big monuments ( and joined in Computer Science )

I am Ram Chandra Chowdary. My father's name Subbarayudu. I joined CSE to fly to US ( Subbarayudu will later get a dowry of 2~3C )

I am Singa Raju. My father's name is Krishnam Raju. I joined CSE to start a big IT firm ( Planning for 7000 Cr )

Pullaih. Venkaiah. Obulessu. John . Ranbir. Myself. Rama Rao.

I am Sandhya. My father is Mr.Ramaiah Garu. He is a Milk Man.

A milk man Ha Ha Ha. Every one is laughing.

Sandhya my father is a milk man and earns his money from his hard work. He is not a thief or a politician.

Everyone felt embarrassed including Rangeela and me.

50 mins of one hour session went with this.

Our Rangeela sir had surprise for us. He asked everyone of us to prepare a one page on our dreams. ( This Rangeela is a really confusing like RGV. First day. Home Work in Engineering. The topic is Dreams ....! I almost said the four letter F word in the class but ended up saying shit )


Next session :

Ooh Ramullamma ooh Ramullamma started. My dream is to be Vijaya Shanti. ( Vijaya Shanti. May be she meant Karthavyam Vyjyanthi I am confused . It seems Rangeela sir too.). I should be able to impress one and all with my work. (You are at the wrong place )

Yenkamma started. I want to be first in my ...( Wow great dream ). I was about to say Yenkamma you are great . She continued first in my bench.
Limited desire full satisfaction.

John started. I want to become a big model like John Abraham. Half name is same Half way through. But our John doesn't wear any under wears. Be careful while doing Dostana.

Ranbir wants to do a Saawariya and actual want it to be a hit. The back bench girls are smiling. (I got what they are dreaming now. Blue background white towel ... Wait this time No Censor problems)

Pullaih dreamed of becoming a politician ( Big money. Full page news )

Obulessu dreamed of becoming a News Editor ( Every one is wrong. I am the editor )

Rama Rao wants to be a Film Star in the lines of Sr. NTR. ( Don't show way to Hussain Sagar like our Ju. NTR )

Sandhya was very simple and said I have very little time to think beyond today or time to dream. Rangeela was expecting more . ( Actually I was writing Love letter Note to My senior. Wait... I am not loving her. My senior is . That night I have written around 15 Love Letters with all kind shit I like. )

Everyone's concentration is towards me. Yesterday I had a dream. In the dream I have seen the most colorful place. Its covered with green plants on all four sides. Each plant had a variety of flower with a distinct fragrance and color as if they are place by a film maker to make a sleazy song with a bunch of dancers. To my surprise the set is added with a water pool at the center and water fall on the corner. Now I could see one a girl come up slowly. I have seen her eyes , her nose , her lips, her neck. I have seen this girl earlier. She is coming up slowly . She is coming closer slowly. She is none other than our Rakhi Sawant. ( Evil minds She is dressed completely and she is not coming out water but from steps which are at the other corner ). She came close to me and said wake up man its time to go to college. Rangeela sir is waiting with open mouth to listen to your dream.

Now Rangeela sir closed his mouth and was furious on me. He started questioning what is this? What I asked you to write ? What you have written ?

You asked me to write about my Dream. This is my dream yesterday Night.

Pullaih and Obolessu mouth are still open. Girls never turned there head towards me again.

After Word:
+++++++++++++++++
I thought I don't have to share my Dream. Abdul Kalam asked us to dare to dream and care to achieve. Not share to ruin it.

Thotti Gang Nights

The hour of the day I like and hate the same time is 8'o Clock with a slight difference. One comes early in the morning (early morning 8:00, you are s/w engg. right) and the second comes very late in the evening.

A person with a daily routine like mine don't need to tell which one I like and which one I hate ( I already told this guy is S/w Engineer and he likes only nights ).

My friend always fights saying the best time is always a day and not night. ( I wonder his friend must be working with a call center ).

We decided we will put an online poll and take some comments from public and decide who wins.

He declared "The first vote is against me".

How man? Who voted for you?

R.K.Narayan is in my favor. He wrote Malgudi Days not Malgudi Nights.

Big Joke...! Then I also have one in my favor. Himesh sang Tandoori Nights not Tandoori days. ( Grow up...! you two )

Anyway we started a poll in the great social networking site orkut.

The poll read like this

You like which of the following:

1) Day
2) Night
3) Most part of day
4) Late nights


After 2 days the poll results read like this

Day - 300
Night - 303
Most part of Day - 123
Late Nights - 120

Its 50-50. The poll is still open. But I am becoming restless.

I posted a question in the community.

What do you like a day or night and why?

The first Reply read like this.

" Its night and the reason being I don't like day"

Stupid comment but he said night good start.

The Second one

" I like day. I can go out with my boy friend without creating a doubt in my parents mind. "

I hate girls. One against and a stupid reason.

The third one

" I like Day Day and Day only. You want to know the reason , do I night out and mug up all periodic table to see next day not a single question is from Periodic table"

My friend is smiling 2-1 in his favor.

In the next 600 comments 450 said they like day and the reasons
Availability of Beauty Parlor (Girls)
Women's college is open (Boys)
We can play cricket (Boys )
Clothes get dried (Aunties...Stupidity. Buy washing machine)
Walking & Exercise ( Uncles )

The 150 who voted for me have not given any great reason rather I should say they embarrassed me . You will know why, check this comments

I can sleep
I can sneak into next door neighbors doing XYZ
I can watch mid-night masala
I can watch MTV After hours.
I can watch English movie channels

Now my friend has a lead more than 300 votes.

Till now I have not given a single comment on why I like night even though my friend given his in the post.

I decide I will post one and see what kind of response I get.

My comment read like this.

All people who said day are either has no responsibility or just dumb.

Dumb people let them be dumb I don't want to insert any wisdom for the reasons.

A normal person will hardly find time on a day. Then how he/she can like it when he is forced into it.

You want to know the reason why I like a night.
Go out onto the terrace and hear very soothing sounds coming all around without any noise from cars/scooters/buses.

See the small radium lights flying ( Glow-worms)

You will see no new sensational statements from politicians.

You will see no accidents on the road.

See the peace in every man's sleeping face. No pain, no fear, no grudge, no fight.

Its at night at this peaceful hours I cry in silence to show my frustration to world.

Thanks for helping me loose. This way will be good.

After Word:
-----------
I lost the poll by a big margin of 1755 - 900. But I had a company next day night its my friend

Love ---The scratchy thing

Love is a strange feeling for me (Sathya - Hero)

My friend (Anand - Comedian and Philosopher) always felt Its scratchy feeling. (Scratchy Come on Man)

He used to say if it is not scratchy why our Ravi always scratches his head coming back from a Date. This guy Rajesh he scratches every untouchable place, pointing below his waist. That Krishna his is a different kind of scratching he keeps on searching the empty wallet. ( Its not hard to know why its empty)

I keep arguing these people are scratchy not Love. His argument is I have to show him one fellow who doesn't scratch when in love.

See Deepu, I have not seen him in any kind of scratching. He never gets confused with Deepa's questions, he never comes with a empty pocket and I have not seen him.... You know man Anand.( OK OK Satya I understand)

Come on man He is my roommate I know him more than you . The only sound hear for one and half hour he is inside bathroom is "Deepaaaaa..... Deeepaaahhhh...Deepppaaaah " and ends with Deep aaaaaahhhhhh. ( No No don't get excited Sathya)

Anand See how much love he has for her. Early morning only thinking about her.

Shut up Sathya don't try to act smart. You know what I am talking about.

Leave him lets talk about Ranganath man. He is too ideal . I always wondered how he can stick to a girl friend more than 6 years man. Its always a big achievement man in this days.

Ranganath is special. He doesn't scratch.

See Anand I told you. Love is not scratchy.

Hello Mr.Sathya wait a second I told Ranganath is not scratchy not his love.

Mr. Anand now you don't act smart.

Sathya , what I am saying is Ranganath is not scratchy. But the girl is.

Don't blabber. I know you lost. Tell me any instance of her scratching.

She forgot her purse yesterday in class and the unlucky one to find it is me. You know how itchy I am. I opened and found 3 naked photos of men.

What's there may be they are Ranganath's.

I would have come to the same conclusion if its not written Anand and Sathya on the other two.

Lucky she has at least one with Ranga's name.

Don't get excited its written John Abraham.

Lets talk about my Love man. Its been too much off roaming all around.Tell me how scratchy I am.

You .... Love....Hey Hey Hey... Don't Joke Please...


Whats is joke in this Anand. I am in love too and you know it. (I am also wondering)

When was the last time you have seen her.

May be 21-Sept-2000 for her Birthday.

What is today.

07-Jan-2009

So, what I should infer Mr.Sathya.

What Mr.Anand?

You are taking a safety measure from this scratchy disease called Love.

Ha Ha Ha Big joke.

Then what You have seen her almost 9 years back and never called her back again and saying Love.

Now I have come to the correct answer Anand . Its your Love that is not scratchy.
You are in touch everyday with her. No scratching of head. No scratching inside empty pockets or No scratching ....(Censor Censor). No aaaahhhh ooohhhh are deep aaaahhh and importantly you never could come across her purse or my name in it.Tell me now.....


Anand is in deep thought of how he should counter me.

I got the reason how to make him shut his mouth.

He seriously handed me a envelope and walked away.

I was happy that I won and also won myself some kind of prize. I opened and could see something written

" Please feel free to scratch yourself when you feel like and never come back to me"
- Dr.R. Manmadha Rao MBBS (Sexologist)

After Word:
----------------

The last time I talked to my love was the last day she lived on Earth. Fortunately enough my friends also don't know this. I promise Love is not scratchy...

Hallucination

I entered into a dark room with a series of chairs arranged in a linear fashion with 3 exit doors. Funny I suppose I am searching for the exit the moment I got in.

A short man with a wide eyed excitement and a big moustache smiled and guided me to a corner and asked me to have one of those chairs.

Suddenly there was a big noise dragging all my attention. Yes you are correct I almost searched the exit.

The noise subdued and there are a set of people begging my attention. Now I know why there was this big noise.

The people started chatting before me. You know what, I could hear every word of it.

One dressed like a arab and one with a turban were arguing that India should go for war on and other saying no. Let us name the one with arab dress as Mohammad Abdul Duaij Khadir and Turban one Upen Naren Lucky Singh.

Hard to believe but MADKhadir was arguing that India should go for war and our UNLucky Singh was arguing other wise.

No, I am not commenting them as MAD or UNLucky its there initials. :-)

Lets get back and show some respect

Khadir: Oye Lucky what if Pakistan thinks we fear them as they come out on press saying - "We are ready for war". (Yes valid point Khadir )

Lucky : Let them babble

Khadir: Look at this pictures already they are around our border.

Lucky: What did you infer from this picture

Khadir: What what? They are getting ready

Lucky : What about India?

Khadir: Sleeping like you Lucky

Lucky : Its not that Khadir.

Khadir: Then what

Lucky : If we start first the war will be over before Pakistan are ready to fight. They know very much that from the past experiences. So they want to at least damage one or two scooters laying on the borders (Too much heroism but a valid point Lucky)

Khadir : Don't underestimate. They have come and killed 100 in our backyard in a broad daylight (This Khadir is coming up with brilliant points to counter)

Lucky: Broad daylight they hit me from behind. My grandmother can kill more people than them if she chooses a wrong path ( Too much bakwas)

Khadir: Wrong path or right path they could hit you and you are playing soft on them ( Khadir three cheer..! you are brilliant)

Lucky : It only looks soft to outsiders. Once we make a move everything finished before you could say hard/soft (Bakwas ...Bakwas... and Just Bakwas....! Lucky seems to watch too much cinema.)

Khadir don't want this fight endlessly and waved a white flag to the happiness of Lucky (he likes peace after all) and called his daughter to bring some coffee. I have not noticed this girl till now.

What? This girl is so young but wait wait . What is that in her hand. Its not a hockey stick its not a cricket bat but something made of wood.

She started walking with a tray of coffee and the thing with wood is not hand but supporting her to walk. She is walking with sticks under her arm. Now I know why Khadir was so furious

Lucky was very happy seeing the girl. He smelt the aroma and was all praise for her.

Now with a commanding tone Lucky asked the girl when are you coming to my home to marry my son.These days he started calling his sister Noor, if I wait little longer he will start calling me also Noor.The girl smiled heart fully and ran away (Sorry walked away with a loud sound of wood. She was one of the victims of 26-Nov) .

Khadir was about to say something to Lucky stopped him and shown a calendar marked with two green boxes one on 05-Jan and second 21-Jan. Khadir silently crossed 05-Jan pointed his finger on 21-Jan and nodded with excitement.

I know I know yes there was a bear hug there.

There was another guest now Lucky singh's son Purab Singh. Noor face reddened with excitement.

I started smile without letting them know. I can see the love on Noor's face for Purab

Purab started fighting with Khadir why you approved the marriage date.

Noor's eyes are on the verge of tears. ( I am scolding Purab , I know you too)

He started to sound terrible disappointed. Khadir controlled his emotions and asked Purab, I will cancel it and tell Lucky that I don't like this to happen.

Noor is not crying. She is posing as a supportive daughter.

Now the face of Purab changed. His emotions raised to a different level. ( I am getting desperate to know what happens next)

Purab said I was forcing for Jan-15 why you marked Jan-21 ( Zinck chaka zinck chaka . I sound foolish I know. I cannot control my excitement)

The 1000 watts smile is back on Noor's face and Khadir was wondering how Purab know about the dates. ( I know...! The prankster was there before his father came but was hiding )

There are this friends coming around and there were our girl and boy sitting next to each other. All eyes are on them. Its Jan-21

Wait wait ... Its now Feb-27. How man I am still on Jan-06 the calendar showing Feb-27.

Noor is back doing her best of stopping her tears . Purab is in a full military uniform. As our Khadir dreamed it will be war any time and our Purab's holiday is shortened. ( I realize now all Lucky singh's Bakwas is for his son. I caught you UNLucky Singh.)

Lucky and Khadir were back doing the discussion on war. Now both are on the same side ( No war... No war... )

Its the loudest sound phone I ever heard in my life. ( Which Idiots phone is that stop it)

Noor picked up the phone. Hello Noor here. 2 minutes of silence and there she fainted. ( I am tense. Don't want know how you are)

Khadir and Lucky joined to wake her up and came to know that Purab will never be back to home as one piece. ( No No its a Hallucination this hasn't happened )

Lucky was crying could see directly into Khadir's eyes. He left the place and a common ring tone of Vandemataram was ringing. Khadir picked up said Hello. Lucky said sorry that he ruined Khadir's daughter life. He could have waited a little more. ( How strange he is not crying for his son )

The loud phone started ringing again. ( I got terrible irritated but was worried what's it this time. No don't Kill our Lucky He is already UNLucky )

It was call from Purab ( You read it right. ) Purab said its no war and he is coming back.

Our UNLucky Singh and MADKhadir were happy they can face each other and in unison will say "No War".

I am happy that I don't have to cry more than the odd 10 minutes where the phone call felt real.

The dark room is lit and I am heading the exit way seeing back at Purab and Noor smiling.

Now, What is the real Hallucination

The dark room I went in is a movie theater and all what happened is not real.


After Word:
------
Where is the earlier call from ... Its strange to believe there is another Purab once lived in the same house. You know what it can be our Purab any day

New Year new story

I was always dreaming about a great future to you....!

You read it right its a great future for you ...!

I am bored and vexed about you saying -

I don't have money I don't have car I don't have .... I don't have I don't have

Its better this way that I dream for you future

That way I will get a rid of your sorrows.

Ooh ..! about me come on man you know .....!

OK lets recap


I was luckiest boy to be born with 10 holes one to my heart

My parents were from the high class called the tribes with all the reservations but no idea of using them.

It just takes 10mins to reach hospital by plane (at a speed of 300kmh) but the fastest we reached was 10 hrs walk through the forest.

Know more about my fortune ....

I was out of death bed only after two kidneys and 10 acres of land left my parents

I was in a school where the teacher don't know the difference English alphabet "O" and number "0"

I was the best student in the 60 villages around my place with a marks of 300/600 in my X

I was the only one who could qualify for Engineering college from the same 60 villages with a rank 60,000

State government was very happy with my performance and offered me a scholarship amount of INR. 600/Month where I have to spend Rs.1000/Month just for my govt. hostel and ended my father in a debt of Rs.25000 for which he has to give up the all the land left with him (2 acres) and should start begging for work if I fail to make it in my graduation

To my surprise I was offered a position in a big company with a salary 6K per month.Its a huge hike from 0.6K/Month.

My father rejected the offer sold of his land to support my higher studies.

Best things are yet to come......

Every land in around our village become flat play grounds after drought and govt. almost planned a cricket stadium but thought otherwise as there is no pub for players to rest and a have a drink

My scholarship as expected increased 6 folds during my PG and I could save money.

Hurray my family could eat every 3 days once in this drought.

This is the wonderful place and people I live with.

I am happy about my mom, she persisted with a son who cries but she could do nothing

I am happy about my father who could sell his kidney to let me live

I have never cried in all my life till now until I have seen You saying I don't have ....

I think you got the reason why I was dreaming of your future.....

Afterword:
-----------
Now I just earn a small amount $0.06Billion/Month and my father able to help building 6 small schools in around the 30 kms of village with a capacity of 900 each. 3 Hospitals with 300 beds and 30 doctors each